Each month we speak to inspirational mothers about work-life balance, their favourite travel destinations, travelling with children, and how they really do it all in our How She Does It column. This time we meet with Lucinda Waite and Kirstie Duke, co-founders of childrenswear brand Töastie.
Passionate about helping children to have adventures and connect with nature, the friends founded their eco-fashion label Töastie to emulate the lifestyle they wanted not just for their own little ones, but for others too. Much loved by parents, their award-winning clothing is worn by children all over the world as they climb, swim, play and ski. Here they tell Citizen Enfants how they manage their business plus family life, and still make time for their own personal adventures.
Tell us more about you…
We’re Lucinda and Kirstie, co-founders of Töastie. We met at university where we discovered a mutual love of exploring the great outdoors and cold-water swimming in the North Sea (well before it came into fashion!). We were raised in Yorkshire and Scotland respectively, where our childhoods were wild and free – and televisions the size of postage stamps were only turned on for Blue Peter. In celebrating our own adventurous wildlings we recognise that this type of existence is under threat from the rise of screen time. So, we created a brand that enables us to make an impact on the shape of children’s futures, empowering little ones to connect to nature.
What’s your working life like?
Kirstie: I have two daughters, Margot, three, and Coco, five and Lucinda has a son Rani, seven, and daughter Amelie, 10. Everything we do centres around them. From a working perspective we are geographically disadvantaged in that our offices are in Devon and the Midlands! However, we circumnavigate this by meeting at least once a month in either location, and also in London which allows us to observe trends and movements in the market – and enjoy a well-earned cocktail together. With young children the work-life balance can be a juggle, but we find that giving each other space to be there for the hockey matches or school assembly is not even up for debate. We have a symbiotic relationship and know to step in and support one another if the scales feel like they’re slipping. Above all we always try and ensure our children recognise that they are our priorities.
What inspires you in your career?
Lucinda: I am constantly inspired by the environments I immerse myself in; we spend a lot of time outdoors as a family and I’m forever scribbling down ideas or taking photos of colours and situations that catch my attention.
I also have a huge love of film and books centred on endeavour and wonder – great expeditions that defy all odds; His Dark Materials, Lord of The Rings, The Jungle Book. All of those inspire little minds to both believe in magic and also that anything is possible, you need only put your mind to it and take that first step.
Which three items help you juggle everything?
Kirstie and Lucinda: A weekly planner (our bibles). We both have to have a physical one printed out or everything slips! A positive outlook and not putting too much pressure on ourselves to make everything perfect – this is key. Our wonderful team who support us throughout and who we value beyond words.
If you could give your past self one piece of advice about being a working mother what would it be?
Kirstie: Go easy on yourself, there is so much wasted energy from berating ourselves with mum guilt. At the end of the day we are building something for our children – in our case we hope for all children – and that will always come at a cost. We find the key to happiness is to be present with our children and be present at work. Keep these two spheres as separate as possible to give yourself space to breathe in both.
Have your career goals and aspirations altered since becoming a working mum?
Lucinda: Having children provided the push we both needed to give our all to Töastie. It had been a side hustle initially – one of those expensive and time-consuming hobbies! We evaluated what we wanted to get from life and the priority was to have the flexibility to be around our children while they were growing up. Once we mentally made the decision that Töastie was our future, all the stars began to align – Selfridges placed their first order and bang, we were off!
If you had the power to change one thing for working mothers, what would it be?
Kirsty: Greater understanding from companies about the challenges that working mothers face. Working to an outdated 9-5 structure can make it virtually impossible for working mothers, with school drop off and pick up, not to mention when an unannounced sickness scuppers your plans for the day. We try to empower our employees by giving them control over their working hours, and if they need to take a duvet day to be there with a poorly child then that is A-okay in our books – if anything to be encouraged.
If you have a day to yourself, what do you do?
Lucinda: What a rare treat! It’s not something we ever think of! I’d start this fabled day of solo dreams with a dive into the ocean and then reward myself with fresh coffee from the beachside café. Then I’d make a visit to the stables to see our little Dartmoor pony, Rolo, and take him for a walk with my mum before heading home for an indulgently large breakfast. If we’re really in a non-work or child-free day, then an hour or so nose deep in a book would be delightful plus a couple of hours doing CrossFit (I’ve become somewhat addicted to it). A little time in the garden would also be ideal, making sure our fruits and veggies haven’t been scoffed by our resident wildlife. I’d fit in a walk down to the harbour with our dog Scrumpy (inevitably with more coffee), rounded off with a healthy feast with the family and a movie (there’s no chance, I’m usually asleep by 8.30pm!). That would be the dream day off.
Heading ‘out out’ – where is your favourite spot?
Kirsty: Our husbands – by coincidence – have been great friends since childhood, so we often go down to Devon to spend time together. Being landlocked in the Midlands, we love the vibe of being near the coast and always hot foot it to the River Exe Café, a floating restaurant with the greatest calamari this side of Italy. As you can only get there by boat it’s not a stilettos ‘out out’ affair, I’d be man overboard before my first glass of wine.
Tell us about the best holiday you’ve taken with your children?
Kirstie: For us it has to be a ski trip. When we ask our children what their favourite type of holiday is they beam and shout ‘mountains!’ loudly at us. We love skiing. I think the mountains run deep in our blood, there is something wild about the atmosphere there that inspires adventure, confidence and that all important element of magic. We always rent an apartment in Courchevel 1850. The snow is far more reliable than a lot of other resorts due to its height and the skiing is second to none. We love returning time and again to the same place, the girls know the lady that runs the boulangerie (crucial to ensure they get the best pain au chocolat) and it really feels like home. We love a lunch in Bel Air as the girls can reach the restaurant by cable car which is brilliant as they are still learning to ski – plus it’s always buzzing and the food is delicious and authentic!
Favourite hotel ever – with or without children?
Kirstie: Lux Le Morne in Mauritius. We went for our ‘babymoon’ (I’m not sure who invented this concept but I milked it for all it was worth). We’d never been on a ‘resort’ holiday where you don’t need (or want) to leave the resort as you have everything you could dream of right on your doorstep, and we thought it might feel claustrophobic. We were so wrong – they took all the legwork out of having to connect your brain for a week which was beyond relaxing. The restaurants were incredible, the villa had linen curtains wafting in the breeze and we’d fall asleep to the lapping of waves.
In my former life (before having kids) I worked for the Caribbean Premier League (T20 cricket tournament) and am incredibly lucky to have spent a lot of time in the Caribbean. Barbados holds a special place in my heart; the people, the super chilled vibe, the piña coladas, the beautiful beach clubs. I’d happily decamp in full to The Lonestar. It’s a really special place and we can’t wait to introduce our girls to island life soon.
Do you ever take your kids to London for the day?
Lucinda: My children are a little older than Kirstie’s and my daughter loves to come to London with me for a day out. Every element is so exciting; getting dressed up, the train journey, art exhibitions and going somewhere special for lunch like The Wolseley. She loves the V&A and the Tate Modern. We live in a fishing village in Devon so the change of pace feels so refreshing.
Travel essentials with kids?
Kirstie: Snacks, story books and a pack-a-way puffer (which doubles as a great travel pillow.) Lucinda always prints out a colouring pack for her kids with word searches, mazes and colouring sheets on topics they like. They love opening it up on the plane and seeing what they’ve got. It also massively helps mid holiday when they’re a bit overstimulated and need some down time. If we are heading to the beach we always take a good selection of our Töastie swimwear.
Travel essentials without kids?
Lucinda: An eye mask and a good book. If you’re not in one you’re in the other, and both rank highly in these rare moments of ‘me time’.
Where are you off to next as a family and why?
Lucinda: We’ve just got back from Corfu which was absolutely glorious, although scorching! It was our first time going to Greece, but it may just become a regular as it ticked all the boxes: beautiful, whitewashed Mama Mia-style villas, amazing food, messing around on the water and sunshine in abundance. We stayed in a fantastic villa that we found on Airbnb, and then at the Glyfa Beach apartments where we stepped out right onto a private beach with one of the island’s best restaurants next door. I’d recommend hiring a boat as there’s plenty of ocean fun to be had plus a rich wildlife – including dolphins – to explore.
How do you think travel benefits your children?
Kirstie: Both Lucinda and I have always had a great love of travelling. I’ve travelled extensively in India and always felt so alive being surrounded by vibrant cultures. Although I am yet to take my children there, we love any time away from home as a family and nothing quite compares to that total joy of hitting a beach together. Bucket and spade, UV rash vests, and no agenda.
The best advice you would give to other mothers?
Kirstie: Nobody knows what to do really. Motherhood is a constant journey of discovery for us all. Whatever you may think, you are doing an incredible job so have more self-belief. And when it all feels too overwhelming, holler for support and take some time out to breathe.
Are there any women who inspire you?
Lucinda: If I’m being completely honest, having grown up in an era where men have predominantly owned the spotlight, I never really had a female in mind that gave me courage and motivation other than my incredible mother. She is the most humble person I know, yet is never afraid of hard graft, is an expert juggler and does it all with huge warmth and a positivity that’s infectious. I remember when I was around eight years old she single handedly installed a new bathroom in our house, every element of it. And this was in the days long before YouTube guides. I think my work ethic and firm belief that anything is achievable if you only frame your attitude towards it comes from having grown up with her.
Kirstie: We are big fans of Paulina Atkinson, the founder of one of our favourite kid’s brands, Organic Zoo. Inspired by nature and the joy of simplicity, the designs are unisex and timeless, plus are designed with play in mind which is so aligned with our own ethos. It’s great to share the same passion and to see other slow and sustainable brands thriving.
How do you do it?
Kirstie: We support one another through thick and thin and know that when friendship and family are prioritised, everything else falls into place. There’s no handbook for running a business, but riding the waves together is by far and away the best feeling in the world.
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Any Questions or Tips to add?