In our series, Citizen Expat, Megan Murray interviews women across the globe about their expat experiences, including building community, connecting to a new culture, finding the best local spots, and the travel tips you need to know.
For Emily Campbell, the last five years have been something of a whirlwind – but, a wonderful one at that. In 2019, the now-owner of If Only If Nightwear was enjoying a career as a primary school teacher, had recently welcomed her first child, and was living with her partner in London. For over a decade, her mother’s sleepwear brand had been run out of the family home back in Somerset and, while it garnered a cult following, most trade was made at seasonal events and fairs. The question had been floating around for a while; would Emily take over this burgeoning business and step into the shoes of designer and owner?
During the pandemic she decided: yes, now was the moment. And so, she began learning the ropes, cultivating an online presence and designed her first nightie – which proved an on-going best seller from the moment it dropped. If you’re familiar with If Only If Nightwear you’ll know its unique allure; from the brand’s innate whimsy, to the gown’s thoughtful flourishes of frills and lace, not to mention its host of influencer fans such as India Cardona and Charlotte Jacklin. In short, Emily’s vision was a quick success – but life wasn’t quite through with its twists and turns.
After her husband was offered a once-in-a-lifetime job in Bermuda, Emily was faced with the decision of whether to move from London to the other side of the world. As an army child, she was more than used to adventures and so, with a second child in tow, off they went to live by the beach, continuing to run the company remotely and to spend three years in the sun.
Often described as an island of expats, Emily’s experience in Bermuda is different to the others we’ve featured so far in Citizen Expat. There’s the remote location and unique infrastructure, as well as her challenges as a business owner, and helping her children not only adjust to their new reality – but having a third baby while out there! Now, Emily is back in London and reflects on those three and a half years, with plenty of advice for parents thinking of turning their family’s world upside down. Spoiler alert: she says, do it!
You relocated in the midst of a pandemic, what was it like moving at such an uncertain time?
We boarded a flight from London to Bermuda in January 2021, right after Boris Johnson cancelled Christmas and lockdown restrictions came back into place. When you’re moving abroad – especially to the other side of the world – you want to feel those last hugs with the people close to you. Really, I needed my friends to hold me and just say, “you’re doing the right thing” but because of Covid 19, none of that was possible. Our best friends drove past our house in a procession, hanging their kids out the windows, waving and hooting their horns – that’s how we said goodbye! It was also hard because our movers weren’t in our ‘bubble’, so we’d leave the house when they arrived – and even our flight was uncertain; it was one of the very few routes still operating because of the produce we import from Bermuda. We were the only people on the plane – literally, my family and a load of fruit and vegetables for the supermarkets!
Can you describe how it felt to leave London behind and arrive in Bermuda?
It was totally and utterly surreal. We’d left London in the greyest of Januarys in the middle of lockdown when it couldn’t be more miserable, only to step off the plane into pure technicolour. The children were walking around in a daze! The sea was bright turquoise and the houses shades of candy pinks and yellows – it was like being in a dream. Covid hadn’t hit Bermuda yet, and so we were handed a golden ticket of opportunity with restaurants open and socialising with new friends. I felt this sense of guilt, knowing that everyone at home was suffering and we had escaped it all for paradise. But, within six weeks the world had caught up with our small island and lockdown started there, too.
For those who don’t know much about Bermuda, what’s the expat community like there?
Bermuda is a self-governing British Overseas Territory and has strong ties to the United States, which is just a couple of hours away, so it has a huge expat community. The island is tiny; two miles wide and 21 miles long, with a population of only 65,000 people – so you can imagine how insular it feels. Initially, I worried that such close quarters would create cliquey-ness or gossiping but actually, it’s the total opposite. People are very supportive of each other and, as a newcomer, everyone knows how you’re feeling and all of the admin you need to get through so they were incredibly kind and offered their help immediately. For example, you have to retake your test to drive on the island so we had weeks without a car which with two children is limiting. Straight away we received messages from other families asking if we needed a lift or if they could do our grocery shopping for us. I can’t express how blown away I was by the sheer kindness of strangers.
On moving as a family, what did you learn about yourselves through this experience?
First of all: a child’s home is their parents. As long as you’re moving as a family and the messaging around the move is positive, all they really need is you. In our society, we put a lot of emphasis on possessions but children feel safe when you’re together as a unit and that’s the most important thing. I also think that an attitude to these kinds of adventures can be inherited. My dad was in the army and we moved every three years throughout my childhood, living across the world from Naples to South Africa. I think this lifestyle encouraged me to embrace new situations and take advantage of the short-term nature of it, really getting stuck in. By contrast, my husband grew up in Cornwall and has always been such a homebody so he felt totally differently, but we pulled together and knew the value of this experience for us and our children. I hope that having done this, my children will inherit my spirit of adventure and versatility in new places.
Do you have any advice for parents thinking of making a similar move?
Yes, just do it! I think it’s so valuable as a family because it strips you back to being a unit and takes all of that other noise in your life out. You might feel vulnerable at times, doing something totally new, but it draws you closer together and you’ll feel so connected. Remember, it’s an adventure that you’re having together. For the children, I think learning to adapt and appreciate new situations is so valuable to their growth. Kids are resilient – they’ll be fine. One thing that I learned from my mum, though, is to set their bedrooms up in the same way as at home. She always used to arrive at our new house four days before us and stick the same posters on our bedroom walls, have the same bedsheets and teddies on our beds. That way, kids just think: “oh yeah, it’s my bedroom.”
How did you make friends and how were those connections different from back home?
I’ve heard a lot of my friends in London say things like: “I’ve made my friends now, I don’t need anymore” and I find this attitude very closed-minded. I was excited to create new connections and was prepared to make a lot of effort to find new friends but actually, because Bermuda is so small, everyone knows everyone and you can integrate easily. Finding friends as a family came naturally and I met a lot of people chatting outside the school gates or playing on the beach. Something that felt very different to my friendships in London is how often we saw each other: there’s no theatre, museums or culture scene out there so your weekends are all about your friends. It reminded me of being back at school, where your friends are your everything and you’re spending quality time together every couple of days. I’d bump into friends walking down the street or in the supermarket, and be able to ask about everything from the school drop-off to their dentist appointment because you’re in each other’s pockets and know everything that’s going on – you feel really close.
Was that kind of closeness hard to leave behind?
Yes, I’ve really missed my friends but, actually, I think it’s harder for those staying. Coming back to London, we’ve been overwhelmed by this incredible city and being tourists at home again. Every weekend we’re going to shows and exhibitions, appreciating it so much more. Our lives have changed, but for our friends in Bermuda, their routines are the same but we’ve left a hole. I’ve noticed it particularly for my daughter who is seven years old. Her friends have been missing her terribly and are calling her every week. We are going back next summer and I know the women who I’ll keep in touch with and that are very important to me.
You took over If Only If Nightwear just before the move; how was running a business while relocating?
It was the hardest I’ve ever worked in my life. For a while, I was doing absolutely everything by myself including designing, marketing, operations, social media and customer service. I think it was Nigella Lawson who said you can’t be good at all three things at once: a mother, a business woman and a wife – you have to pick two. Well, I feel like I was probably rubbish at all three during that time! When I had built a bigger team, the time difference was difficult because when I’d finished the school run and would be at my desk for around 9am, the team would already be into the afternoon, probably having their lunch. That meant I’d have four power hours of working with them and communication – which left no time for just having a chat, asking about weekends or flexibility around being creative. After the team logged off, I’d keep going until I had to get the kids, and then it’d be an evening usually spent on the beach with them – which was obviously bliss!
Did your time in Bermuda change your attitude to travel?
Absolutely. Both in where and how to travel. I find that people who haven’t lived abroad and haven’t travelled with small children are less inclined to do so, but when you’re forced to take your children on a plane, you just get through it. My friends in the UK tend to call the first few years of their children’s lives “the UK years” and concentrate on staycations. While I understand the dread of taking an 18-month-old on a long-haul flight, I’d encourage people to rally against it for the sake of new experiences. I’ve had awful experiences on a long flight with small children, but those hours are never worth losing out on seeing new places, experiencing new cultures and meeting new people as a family. And, while we were in Bermuda, because the island is so isolated we literally had to fly to see anything else, so it made flying with little ones a non-negotiable. As for where, Bermuda is just two hours from New York so seeing as much of America as possible became a real priority while we were out there. We did California, San Francisco, Yosemite, New York – we did road trips, beaches, city breaks, all of it!
Do you have any travel tips for Citizen Femme readers visiting Bermuda?
Pretty much everything revolves around the beach – especially Bermuda’s famous pink beaches. To stay, I love the Coral Beach hotel which is where we spent the first month before moving into our own house. It has an old-school vibe; it was actually started by a few Bermudian families as their own holiday home – and still has the first cottages that they developed. It’s also where I shot the Bermuda collection for If Only If! For dinner, you can’t beat the terrace at Blue which is the most beautiful place to watch the sunset. The interior of the restaurant is a little rustic, so it really is about the terrace. As for hidden gems, you have to see Tuck Shop which is a bakery, with rails of high-end fashion in the back!
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