In our How She Does It column, we speak to inspirational mothers about work-life balance, their favourite travel destinations, travelling with children, and how they really do it all.
This month we caught up with not one, but two, inspiring women; Mary Graham and Nicole Salvesen who together have built one of the UK’s most successful interior design practices – Salvesen Graham
The friends, who met at college, have transformed countless properties as well as collaborated with brands such as Sanderson and Jennifer Manners. Here they tell us how they manage their careers and family life, and why having an amazing business partner is the key to their success.
Tell us about yourselves?
Mary: I am an interior designer by trade, having gone to KLC School of Design, and then worked at Leveson Design on several prominent English estates and large London houses before setting up shop with Nicole in 2013. My husband and I have two children – one boy and one girl – and a very sweet little sausage dog. We moved to Yorkshire as a family a few years ago, where we have just finished a full house renovation.
Nicole: I started out at KLC too, and then went to work at Nina Campbell, followed by stints at several other top London design practices. I then went back to Nina Campbell before setting up Salvesen Graham with Mary. I have three children with an incredibly patient husband and live in Wandsworth, London, which is a short walk from the Salvesen Graham studio. Like Mary, we have just finished a house renovation, but this is a chalet in the French Alps which we are excited to use for the upcoming ski season.
What inspires you in your career?
Mary: We are so lucky to work in a hugely creative industry. We often make a point of getting out and about as a team to visit art galleries, design fairs or even just for in-person meetings with amazing craftspeople; it can help lift your energy levels and inspire you to use a new material or think about a project in an unusual way.
Nicole: Building longstanding relationships with clients is incredibly rewarding, and their creativity and input can also be incredibly inspirational. We love working closely with homeowners to really bring their dream house to life – and there is no bigger reward than when they move in and love the space we have created for them.
Which three items help you juggle everything?
Mary: A Smythson notebook where I can write down my To Do List for the week, my trusty wheely suitcase that takes me from Yorkshire to London twice a month for meetings, and a power bank to ensure my phone is constantly charged – particularly for those long train journeys.
Nicole: I couldn’t do the juggle without Mary and the incredible Salvesen Graham team. I am often out and about and take my Anya Hindmarch Walton bag (a 40th birthday gift from my husband) everywhere with me, carrying my laptop and a trusty tape measure.
Have your career goals and aspirations altered since becoming working mums?
Mary: Achieving a better work-life balance has certainly become more important to me as the ‘life’ side of things gets increasingly busy and complicated as children get older. Also, now that I have children, a huge focus for me is about being a great role model for them and showing them, particularly my daughter, that working hard and building a business is an important endeavour. When you find yourself missing out on key moments in your children’s lives you want to be sure that it’s worth it.
Nicole: I would love to say that I had a rigid plan for my career and I have stuck to it but, in reality, it evolved and now I feel very lucky to do something I love. However, I do think that now it is important for me that my working practices are visible to my children, and I want my career to allow me to be able to really be there for their needs…which isn’t always easy.
If you could give your past self-one piece of advice about being a working mother what would it be?
Mary: Find yourself a business partner that you can really rely on when you need to dash off last minute due to a sick child, a teacher-parent conference or whatever else gets thrown your way. It’s so great to know you have that built in support.
Nicole: Don’t forget to feed the dog! But also don’t beat yourself up about the times you can’t be there, and instead make the times you can, really count. And roll with it if things need to change. I reevaluate my routine regularly as the routine of my children changes on a termly basis. Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to make it all work.
If you had the power to change one thing for working mothers, what would you do?
Mary: I would be able to teleport so I could get back and forth from London to Yorkshire in five seconds flat and not miss out on anything!
Nicole: Time travel in general would be excellent… I never know where all the hours go.
If you have a day to yourself, what do you do?
Mary: Since moving up to Yorkshire, I’ve become addicted to gardening. I would spend all day outdoors if I could and then curl up with a book, a cup of tea and Connie (my dog) on the sofa. I would probably finish the day with a bath using some lovely Verden bath oil and maybe a glass of wine and a podcast.
Nicole: I’ve got a lot better at taking advantage of a day to myself and allowing myself a slightly longer sleep than usual – but I hate to feel I’ve wasted a day so that never lasts long. I will always exercise; I love outdoor swimming if the weather allows. Then coffee or lunch with friends and a potter around the Kings Road.
Heading ‘out out’ – where is your favourite spot?
Mary: I don’t do much ‘out out’ when I’m in Yorkshire, but in London I love going to some of my favourite old haunts like The Wolseley for cocktails and a late night eggs Benedict.
Nicole: Dinner in town with friends – I don’t mind where as long as we can dress up a bit.
Tell us about the best holiday you’ve taken with your children?
Mary: This year we went to Paxos with the children and, because of travel restrictions over recent years, this was really the first holiday they’ve had where they’ve been old enough to come out for dinner with us in the evenings. I loved letting them roam around the village whilst we finished eating; following cats, peering over the harbour wall looking for sea urchins, and heading off to the gift shops to see what they could buy for one euro.
Nicole: We adore both summers and winters in the Alps and love to see our girls running around meadows like little Heidi’s – and just enjoying being in the open air.
What is your favourite hotel – with or without children?
Mary: My last hotel trip before children was to the wonderful Borgo Pignano in Tuscany. An absolutely heavenly hotel; the building dates from 1139. It is such a special place and I would love to go back. It’s also a great place to go with children as there are staff on hand and lots of outdoor activities to keep older children occupied. Ask my children their favourite hotel and they’ll say the family room in the Novotel on the side of the motorway outside Rouen in France! They really find staying anywhere that isn’t home the most exciting thing. Ask me and I’d say Beaverbrook. There is a kids’ club run by the brilliant Sharky and George, but the hotel doesn’t compromise on sophistication in order to be child friendly, it’s an absolute dream for adults as well.
Nicole: Sterrekopje Hotel in South Africa has elements of your classic English country house but with sunshine and extraordinary views. It really offers a retreat from everyday life.
Travel essentials with kids?
Mary: A huge amount of patience… But seriously, a rubbish bag for the car if you’re on a road trip (so many wrappers and apple cores). Colouring books and games for travel and leisurely meals out. Also, a long-sleeved rash vest makes sun cream application so much quicker and easier when you’ve got fair skinned children.
Nicole: We always take lots of games to play together (our children play a mean game of UNO) and colouring pencils and charcoals as they are easy to transport.
Travel essentials without kids?
Mary: We are often travelling for work, whether that be to our European chalet projects or to New York – after which we then get to take the dreaded red eyehome. An eye mask is therefore essential. We’ve just launched a lovely collaboration with Yolke which has a beautiful eyemask – and I will definitely be using that on planes as well as at home.
Nicole: A couple of dresses that can be pulled out of a suitcase, shoved on and still look beautiful. I’m a big fan of Wiggy Kit, Seraphina London and Pink City Prints.
How do you think travel benefits your children?
Mary: Travel can benefit children in countless ways. With my children now living in Yorkshire, where life is a little quieter than in London, I love taking them on holiday to experience something totally different. I can see them engaging with a different pace of life, trying new cuisines and being open to unusual experiences.
Nicole: It broadens their horizons and takes them out of their comfort zone. I lived abroad and travelled a lot in Asia as a child and think it hugely influenced my world view. Travelling as a young person prepares you for experiences and travel later in life, but I also think you can learn to appreciate what it means to “come home” to a place you love afterwards too.
The best advice you would give to other mothers?
Mary: Sometimes, it’s good for children to be bored and use their imagination and be inventive.
Nicole: Be kind and patient with yourself.
How do you do it all?
Mary: There is a very delicate balance between work and family life, and it was something I considered when making the decision to move up to Yorkshire. My husband and I wanted more space for our family – and to be closer to his parents – but it has meant a great deal of train travel for me. At the end of the day, it comes down to compartmentalising your time and how you spend it. When the scale starts to tip, you have to balance it out again. And don’t stress about ‘having it all’ – some weeks you’ll be winning in all departments, others you’ll be feeling like you’re neither a good mother, nor a good business woman. It all balances out in the end.
Nicole: We just celebrated our 10-year anniversary of the business, which has given me time to reflect on the years’ gone by. For me, it’s the spirit of a team. My family is a team, Mary is my team and all our colleagues, suppliers, and clients are a team. While it has not been linear, the last 10 years have shown me the importance of balance and support in one’s life. I think it’s wonderful working with someone who understands you so well. Some weeks, we will know when the other needs more support or to spend time with their family. I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without the support system and people in my life.
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